"THE DOG I NEVER HAD.." By Huda Irshad

About 18th February 2017.

She was poisoned yesterday. The doll who smiled at me with those beautiful eyes, every day in the morning and welcomed me on my way back home just in the street. The one who followed me everywhere, even crossed roads blindly without thinking once.

Some people decided she wasn't worth living. Some people, men of today are Gods of brutality. Look them in the eye make them feel vulnerable and challenged and they will poison you.

The way she bowed every time she wanted to thank me for the most minor gift of love. Yet it became a curse I presume. I want to believe that I am right when I say God made us to Love yet when we do that?

Death and cruelty prevails. It is such a grotesque reality. Out of mere insecurities or jealousy they poison you and you can't win against that. The part where knowing that love surrounded her but it couldn't heal the cracking of her existence. It was suffocating the life in her more than the poison becoming one with the blood.

What was better? To love and ache or to never love at all.

Those brown eyes. Those heavenly brown eyes. The amount of peace and truth they held is unspeakable. Putting it into words is just causing the purity, agony and pushing it into a quagmire of disbelief and vanity and despise.

She lighted up all of my day with just that smile you couldn't easily make out but I did every time. The love she had for me was beyond universes.

She didn't belong with me only that no reason at this moment makes me believe that she didn't. She was light amidst shadows of inhumane beings and their viciousness. And so she was put out with just a blow.

The world needs humanity, positivity, love, goodness and all the good things you ever hear them demanding. But can everyone handle the purity? You cannot breakdown of thirst and not know how to contain it. The pathetic collisions of wanting something, needing it as well and then the containing, creates utter failures. They want a better place for their children by teaching them to feed off of hate and superiority over those who cannot question and reason with them. They still want a bright future for them whilst telling them its right to mentally and physically abuse someone but wait, when it comes to those children in the same situation. The world is Unfair. The world is Unfair?

Each event that takes place in a child's life is inculcated by an individual of a higher age and it's irrevocable and unstoppable. You cannot expect the world to be fair by turning innocent robots into unfair beings. Can you?

Ask me why I'm stretching this preaching or lecture as dozens of you people believe what you think is right and it's not your fault. You see what you are made to see. And just as in the allegory of cave you decide to stay blind to the truth and the other truer perspectives' where the world can just have a chance of being a better place.

I for one believe and have believed so far that just because nobody else loves, cares or even notices someone's existence and that maybe if I did I might just sparkle a massive pain and realization for that being that they were deprived, hugely deprived. And as I cannot be with every person, it will merely be a torment for them. But that's what everyone might think. For instance, you.

Every day for everyone is a little torment anyway. Why lose the chance of making some brown eyes sparkle and hidden smiles appear? How aching could it be? At least they will die with the truth that they were loved once. And loved a lot. They mattered to someone. Mattered a lot.

People die every day why should it be made a reason to cry the hell out of yourself. Right?

I doubt if that would suffice when you would die and wonder why it made a difference.

People die every day but it's not peaceful. Crushed souls, forgotten hearts, heartbreaks, manipulated, forgotten completely, ignored, run over, killed, poisoned. Pain resides in every calm sooner or later but love makes it less bitter.

After people, you believe animals are of a lesser existence in any way but believe me they are much more of a people than most of you are. Much more humane and tolerant and understanding.

I hope wherever you are, run free, run all you want, gallop like a horse, sour above everything as a free bird, get overly excited as you did when we played, nobody can ever hurt you baby, they can’t put you down now, just know that I never loved anyone as you and I never will. You are you and that will always remain.